You are in charge of your thoughts, behaviors, emotions,
actions and reactions. Too often people want to be in charge
of others’ behaviors, actions and reactions. Often people
think they can read other people’s minds and change others
Why? If they think we can change others, then we do not have
to change ourselves and life would be great, work would be
great, and our relationships would be great — would they?
If you didn’t change at all…
Would life be great when you weren’t happy?
Would your work be great if you were bored with your job?
Would your marriage be great if you were still upset about
the 10, 20, 60 pounds you put on?
Would you be great if you found yourself thinking negative
Would work be great if you didn’t ask for a promotion or a
Would your business be great if you didn’t tell others about
The quality of your life depends not on what THEY do, say or
think; but on what YOU do, say or think.
I know this personally. I see how I can change my emotional
state in a second just by a thought, positive or negative. I
used to think that my emotional state dictated my behavior.
So if I was upset or angry I acted angry and upset to
everyone and everything, banging doors, yelling to get out
of my way or just acting like a spiteful child.
If I am angry, I will act angry; I will make sure you know
I’m angry. It did not matter if you were the cause of my
anger, you were going to be the victim of my anger.
This was true whether I was sad, angry, frustrated,
enthusiastic, happy, joyful or whatever the emotion was. I
felt it and acted the way I felt. I thought that was normal.
As I studied self improvement principles, organization and
group dynamics, social work and psychology, and through
years of trial and error, it became clear that we can, or
rather, I can master my emotions, my behaviors, my thoughts
and ultimately my actions and reactions for positive results
that support me.
1- Switch On Switch Off:
This is a mental exercise that will teach you and prepare
you to take charge of your thoughts. It can be done
anywhere. Practice makes perfect. Take a few moments to
rest, breathing in and out.
– Think calming thoughts (ocean waves, fly fishing, having a
massage, anything that is calming)
– Now switch to a funny thought (a funny TV show, a time
that made you giggle, a happy moment)
– Switch your thoughts again to an angry thought (a time
when someone took advantage of you, a time when you were
– Switch back to the calming thought
– Repeat the process
Think of a remote control that you switch to different
As you go through the process become aware of how you are in
control. Notice how you have the power to change your
thoughts and in turn your emotions.
The more you practice this technique the more effective you
will become at changing your state of mind when you really
2- Do You See What I See?
Have you ever had an experience where you felt like you were
watching yourself interact with someone? It was almost like
you were sitting in a studio watching a show.
Sometimes, when people experience that they think “Why am I
doing that? Why am I saying that?” But they do not take it
to the next level, taking charge of themselves and changing.
Now you can.
During conversations today observe yourself interacting with
others. Watch yourself as though you are watching a show.
Observe how you stand, how you are speaking and the tone of
your voice. Observe the words you are using. What facial
expressions are you exhibiting?
Later on, spend a few moments reviewing the ‘show’ you just
watched. What did you observe about yourself? What did you
like? What would you change? How can you improve?
Continue to observe yourself. Begin to make minor changes
during your next conversation. Change yourself to be more
like the person you want to be. This self correcting will
result in more positive and productive reactions.
This is a powerful tool that will not only change yourself
but change how others react to you. You may perceive it as
though they changed, when in fact it was you who changed.
by Pegine Echevarria