The Most Important Meeting You’ll Ever Attend Are The Meetings You Have With
You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so
vitally important to your well being as the opinion you have
of yourself. As you read this you’re talking to yourself
right now. “Let’s see if I understand what he means by
that… How does that compare with my experiences? – I’ll
make note of that – try that tomorrow – I already knew
that… I already do that.”
I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language
of the mind can be controlled to work for us,
especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity.
We’re all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives,
except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We’re
seldom even aware that we’re doing it. We all have a running
commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to
* Be aware of the silent conversation you have with
yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you
reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable
saying to yourself, “That’s more like it”. “Now we’re in the
groove.” “Things are working out well.” “I am reaching
my financial goals.” “I’ll do it better next time.”
* When winners fail, they view it as a temporary
inconvenience, a learning experience, an
isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.
When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by feeling rewarded rather
than guilty about the achievement and the applause.
* When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond:
“Thank you.” They accept value graciously when it is paid.
They pay value in their conversations with themselves and
with other people.
A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the
ability to spend time alone, without constantly
needingother people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary
time reveals inner peace and centering.
People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with
others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be
propped up by the company of others.
Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When
introducing yourself in any new association, take
the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and
always extend your hand first, looking the person in the
eyes when you speak.
In your telephone communications at work or at home, answer the
telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name
to the caller, before you ask who is calling.
Whenever you initiate a call, always give your
own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before
you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores
that a person of value is making the call.
Don’t brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for
service are actually calling for help. The
showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for attention.
Don’t tell your problems to people, unless they’re directly
involved with the solutions. And don’t make excuses.
Successful people seek those who look and
sound likesuccess. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you
are trying to make.
As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom
you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become
a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or she
succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear.
Find someone who has conquered what you fear and
learn from him or her.
When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or
rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to
success, and view ridicule as ignorance.
After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for
Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often
take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant
country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments.
Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done
so far. And G is for Goals. Think of your
big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you.
If you took your BAG – blessings, accomplishments and goals
– to a party, and spread them on the floor, in comparison to
all your friends and the people you admire, you’d take your
own bag home, realizing that you have as much going
for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of
one performance, not as a turndown of the performer.
And, enjoy those special meetings with yourself. Spend this
Saturday doing something you really want to do. I don’t mean
next month or someday. This Saturday enjoy being alive
and being able to do it. You deserve it. There will never be
another you. This Saturday will be spent. Why not spend at
least one day a week on You!
Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without saying
anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of
it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something
negative, you must put a 1/2 dollar in a drawer or container
toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for
one month and see who has had to pay the most money
toward the evening.