No Shame or Embarrassment
The Sages said: “It is better to jump into a flaming furnace
than to embarrass somebody.” Rather interesting thought,
isn’t it? One might even say it is extreme… and maybe it
is. On the other hand, maybe it isn’t
Of course, the message is not to be taken literally, but to
serve as a very pointed reminder that shaming or
embarrassing another human being is something to avoid at
practically any and all costs.
I’ve personally never seen anything good come out of
embarrassing someone. Never heard a joke so funny that it
was worth coming at the expense of another person’s
feelings. Never seen an employee make a mistake that could
be effectively corrected by the use of shame.
Or, a lesson to a child so profound that it was worth
embarrassing or shaming him or her, especially in front of
others. I actually saw this happen recently and can only
hope the child doesn’t carry the embarrassment with him
forever, or learn that that is how one teaches a lesson to
one he loves.
If you (and I’m sure you don’t) have a tendency to, or have
formed the habit of, embarrassing or shaming others as a way
of teaching or getting them to do what you want, you might
choose to print out the above quote and keep it somewhere
where you can see it until you begin to notice an end to
that particular trait.
People who win without intimidation always carry an
awareness, and act with the awareness that a person’s ego is
the most fragile thing they have.
Remember what the great author, Les Giblin said; “What
counts is attaining personal satisfaction without trampling
on the ego of the other person.”
Those who win without intimidation also know that when we
get our point across in a way that leaves the other person’s
ego intact (via tact and kindness) we earn their respect,
loyalty and a desire to more readily accept our point of
view the next time a situation to persuade arises.
by Bob Burg