There is probably nothing more powerful in beginning a
conversation or transaction, or in overcoming an
interpersonal challenge, than a smile. A warm, genuine,
sincere smile that emanates from your heart (from the inside
95 percent of the troubles we encounter with others could
most likely be resolved peacefully but for a smile, followed
by genuine concern for the other’s needs. The fact that most
people don’t do this will only make it easier for you to put
yourself ahead in the game when it comes to persuading
others to take your side of an issue.
When you must speak with someone’s supervisor about a
particular challenge, your smile will bring down his or her
walls of resistance, and set the tone for a pleasant,
win/win discussion and positive result.
One main reason is that you’ve just separated yourself from
practically everyone else whose greeting is a defensive,
angry, or intimidating word or look.
In his book, “Working With Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel
Goleman writes, “It happens that smiles are the most
contagious emotional signal of all, having an almost
irresistible power to make other people smile in return.”
Isn’t that so true? In fact, read any good book on people
skills and there will be at least a mention of the power of
John Mason, author of “Let Go of Whatever Makes You Stop”,
writes, “One of the single most powerful things you can do
to influence others is to smile at them.” Very true! Dale
Carnegie devoted an entire segment of his awesome book, “How
to Win Friends & Influence People”, to this single fact.
Don’t feel badly if this does not come naturally for you.
For some, it takes practice. Fortunately, it’s very easy to
learn how to smile effectively. If necessary, simply imagine
something that truly brings you joy and think of that before
you need to smile. After a few practice sessions, you’ll be
able to bring forth that smile naturally, “from the inside
It seems very few people smile without a particular reason.
But that doesn’t have to include you. Get that smile on your
face before you deal with anyone; the service person,
government bureaucrat, your boss, the waitperson, your
spouse and children; everyone. Get yourself ready for that
person to like you and smile back at you!
I employ this simple action all the time and everyday with
incredible results and I know others who regularly do the
same. They quite often get waited on or helped at a crowded
desk first, just because the person sees them with that
This week, while feeling grateful for all your blessings,
let those blessings bring a smile to your face. A smile
“from the inside out.”
by Bob Burg