Although your own internal measurements are the most
important, you will occasionally need to seek external
feedback on your progress toward your goals. When you do, be
sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing
Don’t seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive
peers, or any person who doesn’t have your best interests at
heart. Neutral doesn’t count. Get feedback from someone who
is on your side but will still be objective and honest with
I’ve observed time and again that misery truly does love
company. Jealousy creates some of the most miserable people
I know. Surpass the achievements of your particular social
crowd or your business colleagues, and look out for the
slings and arrows of those who wish you were back where they
You have to dodge the snide remarks and catty comments. Let
them roll right off you. Don’t internalize them.
Only pay attention to feedback from those who have similar
goals or who are working actively alongside you to achieve
goals of their own.
Motives and fears run deep. Study them in others. The
sympathetic fair-weather friend who supports you and
comforts you when you’re down, may like you best when you
are in just that state: down and dependent.
Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your life but
you. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you.
Therefore, nobody’s expectations for you and opinions about
you are as important as your own. So make sure those take
precedence in your mind over all others, and if you do need
to consult with someone else, think very carefully before
you choose exactly who.
Equally important, be prepared to sell your ideas to an
indifferent world. As passionate as you are about your
business and the fact that your products and services will
have positive, life-changing benefits to everyone you meet,
you are going to find resistance every time you tell your
People are most interested in their own dreams and goals.
They have difficulty believing that you have found a better
way than they have to reach them. They are suspicious and
guarded when anyone tries to sell them or change their
Rather than have others steal your dreams by raining on
them, ask questions and find out about their dreams before
you launch into your sermon. People buy what they want
first, then what they need. Find what turns them on. It may
not be what turns you on. By helping others get what they
want, you’ll get what you want too!
by Denis Waitley